Happy Thanksgiving

We Have A Sack

Well, after being stuck in the doctor's office waiting for thirty  minutes, bare naked from the waist down, we got the news we were waiting for.  There is both the yolk sack and some other bigger sack for the baby to grow in, it has a big name and I can't remember...sorry.  We are only 5 weeks and a few days so still not out of the woods but it is one more super sign we are on the right track for a July baby.  We have another ultrasound in two weeks to be sure there is a heartbeat, keep praying!

Love you all.

11-25

I love this time of the year because for the next 9 MONTHS we will be the same age!  Today is Phil's birthday and I am way to nervous to say anything wonderful about him, except that he is just that...wonderful.  Don't get me wrong, we have had our problems and thankfully have worked through them to be stronger and more in love now than we were seven years ago when we met.  He is a blessing to me and to our family. I love you Phillis!  Happy 28th!!! 

Nervous

I am all nerves right now.  

So is Phil. 

He has text me at least 5 times today...already.  

We go in at 3:00 so an update post will follow tomorrow.  

Keep praying.  

Thanks Kim

It is National Adoption Month!

That being said:

When I checked Kim's blog one morning I was reminded of one of my all time favorite movies.  I LOVE "Juno"! If you haven't seen it and can stomach a bit of raunch-i-ness...watch it.  You will laugh like you haven't laughed in along time. 

I especially love the blue slurpee and comment about "pork swords".  

Liberty Bell also cracks me up.  

All in all the movie has a great message and shows the selfless side of birth-mothers. We DO love birth mothers!  Every one of them.  

!

Okay, so I know many of you have been waiting for this news, so here goes.  Our first test says we are pregnant.  It is super early, like 5 weeks, so we are by no means "out of the woods" but we are past another milestone so we have been celebrating.  We have an ultra-sound and another blood test  on Tuesday the 25th at 3:00.  We are continuing to pray that all will remain well. 

Phil was amazing on Saturday.  After the initial excitement and shock wore off I got really scared and started crying.  I asked Phil the "what if" question and he so calmly said, "Heavenly Father has been with us this far and if this doesn't turn out exactly the way we want it to, we will have a child waiting for us in the eternities." 

That simple statement made me realize the depth of the Gospel and its true healing power.  This process is definitely a test of faith and medical knowledge but together, with God, we can do it...whatever comes our way.  

Date Nights

I love date nights, although our lives feel like it is always date night due to no kids.  

This weekend started early with a trip to Body Worlds last night.  

WOW.  

It was amazing.  

The best part was that we went with the  Pikes, Gummows, and McCarthys.  

Mindi has turned into our personal party planner.  If you want to do something fun ask her to be in charge and she will deliver.

If you haven't been able to see a Body World's show we  definitely suggest going.  The human body is such a neat thing and it makes our insides really real!

Tonight our date night continues with a showing of the new 007.  What a hunk!  I may drool through it. Don't laugh ladies you will too when you see it.  

Sometimes older men are very attractive.  

Now I just hope the movie rocks!

WHY?

This is my Grandma and my amazingly strong cousin, Teresa and her husband Bob.  Jackson is in 7th grade this year and Jace just turned 6.  Jace has been fighting cancer in his shoulder for about a year and a half now and three months ago they had thought he was in remission. Recently he started treatments again but still thought there was hope for a medial miracle. 

Last night my Grandma called with BAD news.  Jace was having problems breathing and was complaining about a pain in his lower back.  They put in the hospital in Casper where he stayed for two days.  They found a bunch of fluid in his lungs and as they were draining it they discover blood.  The decided to fly them to their specialist in Denver.  

In Denver they discovered his left lung is deflated and is full of a mass...cancer...and they have now determined it has probably moved to his spine and brain.  They are waiting for a more clear picture but right now the prognosis looks very glum.  

Please send thoughts and prayers their direction.  My cousin is not good and we are praying she will be strong enough to handle the rest of this.  If you happen to attend the Temple please add the Johnson family to the prayer list. 

I don't know if I will ever understand some things in this life, and childhood sickness is definitely one of them.  My heart goes out to all of you who have had to endure this.  I know Heavenly Father has a plan, I just with I could re-write this one with a different ending. 

A Pain in the Butt

I think this is how my face must look!  Today is the first day I can say my bum really hurts.  I guess it isn't the bum as much as the targets I have drawn on my hip muscles right above my bum.  I really need to stop complaining but WOW.  1 and 1/2 inch needles hurt quite a bit when 1 ml of medicine has to get through, they seem to be getting wider and wider and it is burning more and more.  Thanks goodness for Mother-in-Law's that are amazing...and nurses! 

I promise to stop complaining about it.  This will be last moan and groan post.  I will get back to my happy self and be thankful for this opportunity.  

PS.  My dream last night was of two!  I woke Phil up at about 3 a.m. and asked what we would do with two.  He told me to go back to sleep.  

Crazy 8's

I first have to appologize to Katy and Jenny for not responding to their tags.  I seem to get busy and forget and then think it's lame to go back but from this time forth I promise to get to them.  It may take a few months but I will answer.  Get ready cause I have three to do already!

Crazy 8's

My 8 favorite TV shows

1. Grey's Anatomy

2. The Office

3. Days of our Lives...I know you are puking right now.  I dvr it every day!

4. Deadliest Catch

5.  Cold Case

6.  Without a Trace

7. Law and Order  (any of them)

8.  The Girls Next Door

My 8 favorite restaurants

1.  Cafe Trang

2.  Cafe Rio

3.  Wok King

4.  Panda Express

5.  Iggy's (their chicken balls rock)

6. McDonald's (only because they have the best diet coke in the world)

7.  The Pizza Place

8. Tepanyaki

8 things that happened to me yesterday

1.  I got really angry

2.  I taught school

3.  We watched the Ute's kick TCU's butt

4.  I read my book

5.  Phil frustrated me

6.  I humbled myself and moved on!

7.  I ordered a prescription refill

8.  I walked my dog

8 things I look forward to

1.  Fall colors every year

2.  track off time...December 5th!!!

3. Being a mom

4. Seeing my mom and dad

5.  Going to Hawaii in March

6. Celebrating Christmas in Saratoga with my ENTIRE family

7. Going to the temple

8. Getting our results

8 things on my wish list

1.  Our tree stumps to get ground out

2.  A baby to build our family

3.  Adoption to continue to grow

4.  Brown Dansko shoes

5.  A new truck

6.  Four wheelers (one for Phil and one for me)

7.  To be closer to my parents and sisters

8.  Kya to stop peeing when she gets excited!

8 people I tag

1. Kat

2. Katy

3. Jenny

4. Stephanie

5. Kim the photo queen

6.  Jessie

7.  Erika

8. Jill

*Maybe you will all be faster at this than I.  If you don't do it I completely understand.

Where to start?

I am angry right now.  

I am sitting in the middle of my 28 children, they are working on an Egyptian reading assignment and super fun activity and I can't do anything but vent while holding back tears. 

When I started out this morning I was SO happy and having a super great day.  I wanted to blog about the GREAT Collin Ray concert we went to last night, or the fact that it is Adoption Awareness month and I am reworking our on-line profile, or the totally cool fact that I now know a television star...two of them! (I am lucky enough to have presented with them in a few schools, and they were on Good Things Utah yesterday talking about ADOPTION) And to top all it all off I am physically feeling super great.  No news, but feeling good counts for something.  

Until... I read this blog and remembered the deep searing pain that lingers in all hearts that have had their marriages/lives touched by infertility and adoption and the true insensitivity that others have.  I cry for my friends and for those I don't even know, who carry this pain in their hearts.  I cry for the fact that my life is revolving around shots and appointments for a crazy chance at something so many take for granted.  For the fact that we all have an internal NEED to be mothers.   

I am mad that people try to lesson the pain by making statements like, "be thankful for all that you do have".  Of course we are all thankful for what we have, we thank our Father in Heaven everyday for the opportunities, relationships, and abilities we have been given. It doesn't mean that we aren't thankful, it just means...

Being thankful doesn't take away the need to be a mother.  To be a family of more than two.  To be morning sick.  To get stretch marks. To gain tons of weight.  To get sausage toes (sorry cute Wendy I took your words) To go anywhere with huge bags under our eyes because we were up all night with a crying baby.  To want to celebrate holidays like Halloween, Christmas, and Easter.  To HAVE to tote a carrier everywhere we go.  To have our car seats slid up as far as they can go to accommodate the car seat.  To be so busy you miss the Sacrament message. To change dirty diapers. To buy super expensive formula and super cute clothes.  You get the picture. 

We want that and we want you to just smile, hug us, and be supportive.  Let us cry.  Let us hurt. Listen. Let us work through our struggles and be there to love and support, maybe not even talk...just listen and love.  UNCONDITIONALLY...with no rude comments. 

Love you Kimmie Photo Queen!

Breathe Again.

I could breathe again after our appointment yesterday.  We are by no means out of the woods but our appointment went well.  We are now in the bed rest phase and I HATE IT.  Phil is really loving it as he thinks the orders were for him.  As long as he helps take care of me I guess I don't care, it is sort of cute.  We transfered two embryos and now it is a praying and waiting game.  

Thanks so much for your prayers up to this point. I was really scared we wouldn't have any embryos to work with and we ended up with four.  God is AMAZING.  What happens now is also in his hands and we are continuing to pray and fast for our family and ask that if you feel it appropriate please join us.  

Love and hugs.